IVF Chronicles No. 1: It all starts with blood.
- Talia Markham Baer
- May 29, 2020
- 9 min read
Folks, we’ve reached 26 weeks today! Only one more week and I’ll be considered in the 3rd trimester. How time really does fly by! And to think, about this time last year, we were gearing up for our first IUI and now we’re finally pregnant and will meet our little lady at the end of this summer.
At this point, I’m busting out of some of my clothes and others are getting too tight to be pretty, but I haven’t succumbed to maternity just yet. Luckily, I can get away with wearing dresses almost everywhere with the weather that we’re in now and continue to be in until our baby girl is here, but the belly bands are a MUST! No pants are buttoning 😊.
Pregnancy cravings have changed from chicken strips – which has always been a love of mine, pregnant or not – to ice cold fruit. Mainly grapes and watermelon. I could eat both all day every day, and to think I used to say that about Mexican 😉 I still love Mexican anything, but the food aversions have been interesting too. No sausage and no coffee. Coffee aversion has been present since the first month, but the sausage creeped up on me around 18 weeks and has remained. But now I’m getting to the point that I’m not hungry much, or if I am, I think I can eat a big meal and am constantly asking for a to-go box or eating leftovers the next day. I guess it really is true about how your stomach shrinks to make room for the baby?
Anyway, if you follow along on my random updates via social media stories, Andy hasn’t been able to go to the last two OB/GYN appointments with me because of COVID-19, but we’re really hoping that that the visitor ban will be lifted and he’ll be able to be present for the 4D ultrasound which will be at the end of June, I believe.
Other than that, mom and baby are doing great, feeling great, and still trying to stay as active as possible. Well, she’s more active than she’s ever been and gives me taps or punches throughout the day to remind me she’s still in there growing. What a reassuring, amazing feeling that is! And yes, now that I’m back in my building working, I am still wearing the high heels every day and will continue until I can’t anymore 😉.
As I said in my last post concerning our IUIs and how that all works (and didn’t work), I would be starting “IVF Chronicles” which would be a series of posts concerning our journey from “We’re doing this,” to the medicines, to the egg retrieval, to the freezing of the embryos, to the transfer, to the positive pregnancy test and protocol thereafter.
So here’s the start of our journey and how we made the decision: “Yes, we’re going to give this a try.”
Heading back to Ohio Reproductive Medicine was both a blessing and a curse. It was a reminder that nothing else worked, but once I walked through the doors of that facility and waited for my name to be called for my IVF consult, I felt like I was in a safe space. That I was seen. And heard. And in good hands. For me, that’s one of the main reasons I highly suggest that clinic to anyone who asks me who we went with and why, along with my praises of Dr. Rossi, our positive partner in crime during this whole ordeal.
Dr. Rossi came out to the waiting room, my name was called, mom and I walked back, and we sat down at her desk. Her first words were, “Well, I’m sorry to see you’re back, but tell me what’s happened between the time I last saw you in May.” I detail our IUI journey and that we had done three back to back, and she said, “Well, it’s obvious that wasn’t going to work, so I think we need to talk about IVF now.”
When we first went to ORM, we were just trying to get in in case we needed them. I said that I’d rather have a relationship with them and already know the lay of the land if that’s what we had to resort to, rather than process it all after we’d exhausted every other avenue. The time clock was ticking and there wasn’t any time to waste, so I kind of knew what to expect.
She went over our options with IVF – because there are many routes you can take – discussed the possible outcomes and the costs, and she left the room to go get a printout of everything so I could take it back home and show it to Andy once he got home from his hunting trip.
As she passed through the doorway, I remember saying to my mom, “I just don’t know. I just don’t have a peace about it.” Mom said, “Well, here are your options. A very small likelihood you’re going to get pregnant on your own, or a 50% chance here with this. I think I’d take the chance.”
Dr. Rossi comes back in the room with some more paperwork and I just ask, “Okay. So I know you can’t guarantee anything for me and I know every person is different concerning their ovarian egg reserve (remaining egg supply – quality and quantity), age, weight, past history, etc., but can you give me an idea of how well this clinic performed in the years past with someone like me.” She shows me a chart of women aged 30-35, and their success rate was 64%. That seemed to settle me a little bit more, but we’re talking about thousands of dollars spent to try and there’s nothing guaranteeing you’re not going to be in that 36% that IVF doesn’t work for.
Her positive was, “You’re not old and your egg reserve is still better than most of our other patients.” I remember thinking, “Well, I may not be in this world, but I sure feel behind the times” but tried to rest on her reassurance that I was starting on the positive end of things.
Despite whether I wanted to say, “Yes, we’ll do this. Where do I pay?” we would have to wait for another month because everything is done off your menstrual cycle timeline. I had just had my period the week before our meeting, so I had to wait till my cycle restarted that month and that would be almost another month. Dr. Rossi says, “Take this home to Andy and let me know what you want to do. You can email Mackenzie, my nurse, and let her know how you want to proceed.”
With Andy being away on a trip, I took advantage of the alone evening time and planned to meet up with a few of my best girlfriends that next evening. They all knew we were going back up there for another consult and were anxious to hear what I thought and what I was going to do.
As we were seated on the patio, one of my friends, Molly, said, “Well, let’s figure out what we want because, Tal, you need to spill your guts about yesterday. I want to know what’s happening.” Typical Molly demand and that’s why we all love her, so I detail the protocol and what all Dr. Rossi said, but at the end of my dialogue, I said, “But if God’s not in this, it doesn’t matter how much money we throw at this, it won’t work, and I just don’t have the reassurance yet.”
If you're here thinking you're going to get this, "Thank you for science" approach to all of this, you're dead wrong. Granted, without science and all its advances, couples in our situation would be doomed as nothing natural has worked for us, but without the Lord, this wouldn't have worked for us. Science can only go so far and if science was the end-all-be-all, everyone would be doing this with its guaranteed results. That's just not the truth. Not the case. Our Lord and Savior was all over this journey and you'll see as you continue to follow along.
Nonetheless, we proceeded with our dinner and as we left the restaurant, I, again, was so thankful that I had a tribe of girlfriends who really wanted this for us, who really listened and understood, and carried us through when we were too worn out to even lift our heads. What a blessing they’ve been in my life, but especially through this journey.
After talking to Andy later on the same day as the appointment, and then again once he got home, we decided to go for it and paid our deposit on September 26th. If you’re wondering if I had heard from God by that point if we should do this or not, the answer is a big fat NO. I prayed and prayed, “God, give me a sign that we’re supposed to do this. I need to hear from you,” but all I got was silence. In the pit of my stomach, I didn’t have huge reservations and took that as a very minuscule sign, proceeded ahead and hoped for the best. I guess I justified it by not feeling like we shouldn’t give this a try, but there was no, “Yes, I’m with you, daughter” feeling felt. Nonetheless, we paid our deposit and I continued to pester Him with an answer.
Our next steps were to come back to the facility and get lab work done on September 30th, along with provide another sample to Reproductive Diagnostics, the embryo fertilization office. And shortly after that, October 2nd, my medication order was sent to me via their patient portal and I called Braun Pharmaceuticals to pay for the order, separately. Yes, again, we’re talking thousands of dollars and I only remind readers of that not to tout about how expensive this is, but to allow readers who may be inquiring about our cycle as they maybe prepare for their own, how much things are and how they’re billed.
From there, we waited for my period to start again, which we were to call ORM when it did, and the medications would then start. It’s important for the medicine to be in your hands/fridge before you start your cycle because you can’t really time that exactly and you’ll need to start taking the medicine soon after your start date.
I remember getting my period and I had never been so happy about something like that in my life. Before all of this, getting your period was like, “Great. You again.” Or while we were trying everything under the sun to get pregnant, getting my period was something you were in disbelief about. “No, that can’t be right. I thought it had worked this time. My boobs were sore and my appetite had changed. No, this has to be a mistake.” But sadly, it never was.
I remember getting my period while we were on a family cruise. My mom, sister-in-law, and nieces were all out shopping at the Costa Maya cruise ship port and the boys were off viewing a Mayan ruin. After finding these incredible snakeskin boots that I couldn’t wait to show Andy, mom and I went to the bathroom and there…..there it was. Blood. I remember being in such disbelief because Andy and I had talked and we thought that previous month things had worked….or at least we were so hopeful that they did.
I came out of the bathroom and was met by one of my nieces, Laney, and she said, “Aunt Talia, I love your dress.” I almost burst into tears thinking, “Kid, I just love you, but I want one of you as my own, but it’s not going to be happening this month.” I don’t know if I told my mom right away or not, but we finally met up with my brother, dad, and Andy, and they come to the boots store where he was suckered into buying the boots for me for Valentine’s Day (which was the next day or something). What a thoughtful gift and, yes, I was so happy. They were so unique and I would have really regretted not getting them as I’ve never seen anything like them, and probably never will. They’re kind of like Crocodile Dundee meets a feminine approach 😊. Totally my style!
I waited until we were in our room to say, “Well, honey, I got my period today.” I remember his face being pinched into one of those “Oh no” looks, but he came over, gave me a kiss, held my face, and said, “It will be all right. Maybe those boots - which you look smookin’ hot in - will numb the pain a little today.” They were amazing and I have gotten a lot of wear out of them, but it numbed it only until I was again reminded of my current state.
So this time when I got my period…..the period we had been waiting on…..it was a “Oh my lands! We’re finally here. It’s time!” This time, it was something to rejoice. Luckily it was at night, right before bed, and I remember coming out of our bathroom, crying. Andy said, “Honey, what’s wrong?” Through tears, I said, “I just started. It’s happening. We’re starting tomorrow!” We both had the biggest smiles on our faces as tears glistened in our eyes, and when 8:00am rolled around the next morning, my first dial was to ORM to rejoice at the start of something that had once pained me so.
The next step in this process is medication administration, and that prescribed medicine is designed to highly stimulate your ovaries. After your medication has started, you’ll be in the throes of the IVF cycle and everything will be very timed out, day by day.
In the next post, I’ll detail what the medications were like, how they were administered, along with my many trips to ORM for early morning follicle checks and bloodwork, all which lead up to our egg retrieval.